Posts
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
More first birthday photos...
Did we mention that they were getting over hepatitus at this point? Yeah, well, since we've been home, we discovered that they had Hepatitus A. That's the kind that flushes out of the system and is basically like the flu--no lasting issues. However, we went to the hospital a lot, had ultra sounds and lots of blood drawn. They were really great through all of it. Now they're all healthy again.
More photos
Hard to believe the last post was just over a month ago! How time flies. The kids are AWESOME. We're totally in love with them. I guess everyone feels that way about their kids, but it's amazing. They are so fun. I'm not going to write a bunch, but I will induldge all of of you who have said, "you're a photographer! Don't you have more pictures?" Yes! Here are some. Oh, since the last post Jada and Bennett turned one--that may explain some of the pink (thanks Dave) icing! Actually, I'll put those up in a separate post.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Adis (cont)
Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise him above, ye heavenly host, Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I think the doxology is appropriate as an ending to our big journey.
For those who are more about pictures than long, somewhat boring blog posts, see the slide show at the top left of the blog!
If any of you would like to donate money, toys, or clothes (particularly for kids six and up) to Toukoul Orphanage, please send it to me and Leah at 425-A McArthur Dr, Elizabeth City, NC 27909, and we will get it there.
Hello everybody! Thanks again for all of the warm wishes and prayers that y'all have been sending our way. I've been constantly amazed at how much people have taken a heartfelt interest in this adoption. I feel like David Archuleta, actually: "Wow! I mean, geez, you really like it? You really care? Aw geez, this is unbelievable!" So thank you again for all the support you've given.
The trip was kind of like going to Vegas - we were only gone for a week, but it felt like a month. I hadn't really thought much about the trip beforehand; I just kind of thought that we'd go, meet the kids, hang out with the kids, and come home after a week. If you had actually asked me what I thought things would be like, I would have realized that we would be busy during the whole time with what had to get done. But none of you asked me, so I went on in ignorance.
Before we even checked in for the flight, we met Brenda and Gary. They happened to be adopting two little six-year-old girls through the same agency that we used. As it turned out, we turned into one big family at the guesthouse where we all stayed in Adis. They have grown children of their own, and they adopted two boys from China a few years ago. We were so blessed to have them with us throughout the week; their fellowship, parenting advice, and babysitting were greatly appreciated.
Our flight over was uneventful, the more so because of the poor movie selection (Mad Money? Have they no decency?!) Random note: Ethiopian Airlines actually has a page on their website advertising that they have spare airplane parts for sale. That sure inspires confidence every time you hit a pocket of turbulence. Anyway, we were met at the airport by the lawyer who had represented us in the court proceedings there, as well as our driver for the week, Wendy. More about the lawyer later (cue foreboding music).
They took us straight to the orphanage to meet the twins. The whole thing was surreal. We had been waiting for this moment like a couple of ADHD kids waiting for Christmas morning, and now that it was here, we were both very serene. It wasn't too long before we saw two nurses carrying two familiar faces. It's a strange and wonderful thing to finally see and touch the children that you have only known through a photograph. First impressions: he has big old brown eyes that quietly soak in everything around him and a very sweet, reserved countenance. Her - just gorgeous. She had me at "WAH!"
One of the nurses handed Bennett to Leah, and he immediately grabbed her tight and put his head on her chest. I got Jada, and...well, let's just say that I wasn't what she was looking for. But she only cried for a few minutes and then settled down. The orphanage had a lounge area where new families can interact with each other, and we spent the next two hours holding them, looking at them, singing to them, laughing with them, thanking God for them. I guess this would be a good place to mention that we were very pleased and impressed with the conditions of the orphanage. There were probably around 200 children in the orphanage, and they all appeared to be very well taken care of. The ages ranged from infants up to about age 10. There is a paved yard for soccer, playground with an honest-to-goodness slide and merry-go-round, library, tv room, and clean living facilities. We looked in on the toddler playroom later in the week, and there were about thirty of the cutest little maniacs you've ever seen running amok. It was awesome. The caretakers were exceptional. It was very apparent that they loved and cared for the children under their keep.
Needless to say, it is heart-wrenching to meet bright, lively, good-looking boys and girls that have no parents. There was a group of boys playing soccer who came up pointing to me and saying, "My name is..." trying to get my name. Apparently, they don't have a good grasp on second person pronouns just yet. They told me their names and thought it was hilarious when I butchered the pronunciations. If anyone of you reading this is thinking about adopting a few elementary aged boys, Surofit and Waldesamat would sure like to talk to you. And I'll put in a good word on their behalf. The kids that just about sent me to my knees were the ones with severe disabilities. Their chances for adoption are slim, and they obviously have no one to care for them when they age out of the orphanage. Who will care for them?
When it was time for Jada and Bennett's lunch and nap, we handed them off to their nurses and went to drop off our things. We were advised to slowly integrate ourselves into Jada & Bennett's world, so for the first few days we would spend part of the day with them and then leave them with their nurses. I'm still not sure why we can't keep that system going forever.
The guesthouse that we stayed at was affiliated with the orphanage. That made things very easy, since the service at the guesthouse was tailored to folks who were always coming and going with their adopted children. I already mentioned our driver, Wendy, and there were around ten others who did everything from cooking to guarding the gate. Our main point of contact in the house was the head chef, also a Wendy. I cannot emphasize enough how great they all were. At one point I asked for a special favor, and driver Wendy told me, "This is like your house. Whatever you would do at home, please do here. Is no problem." The two Wendys stood out in particular, along with one of the female cooks who was always smiling and cooing over the children. The food was awesome - lots of soups, stews, and curries.
On Sunday, we brought Jada and Bennett home with us for the day. The highlight of the day was when my college roommate Damon came over for a visit. Damon, his wife Heidi, and their daughter Dasia, are living over that direction right now. Damon is teaching English, and Heidi works in public health. I hadn't seen him since their wedding, so we had a lot of catching up to do. We went for a walk in the neighborhood, and he took Dasia (aged 20 months) with us. There's not a whole lot of white faces (ferenj) in Adis, and even fewer ferenj babies with day-glow blond hair. Let me tell you, it was like we were walking down the street with Bono. She was up on Damon's shoulders, and whole busloads of Ethiopians would wave at her while she'd wave back and yell 'Hi!'. It's as close to famous as I've ever been.
Monday was our embassy day. Everything had been cleared by the Ethiopian government, so now all we had to do was get the American government to okay the adoption. We went with Brenda and Gary and all of our kids, and when we got there, some of us had forgotten our passports (I won't say who). Our lawyer went absolutely ballistic on us for being careless and irresponsible. Strike one on him. We got back to the guesthouse, and the lawyer had us sit down to fill out our paperwork that we would need at the embassy when we went back. I asked a question about how to fill out a certain part, and it was blatantly obvious that this man who is supposed to know the adoption process inside and out had never looked at the forms needed by the US government. Strike two on him. We get to the embassy, and the lawyer goes ballistic on Gary again when he finds out that he hadn't filled out all the paperwork that he needed to. Strike three on him. At this point, Leah tells him to shut his piehole (so to speak), and he just keeps yammering on about how we screwed things up. In my mind, I saw one of those big shepherd's hooks that yanked him out of the room while the rest of us cheered. He was a complete jerk. Then, after all this is said and done, he hints that he wants a tip for his services before we leave town. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Asphinctersayswhat? Exactly.
Once our paperwork was complete, we had to be interviewed by one of the embassy workers in charge of adoptions. He asked us to verify the information on our paperwork and proceeded to ask us some questions about Jada and Bennett's parents:
Him- "How many parents?", Us - "Two", Him - "Hmmmmmm...."
Him- "How many living?", Us- "Both", Him- "Hmmmmmmmmm...."
Him- "How many other children do the parents have?", Us- "None", Him- "Hmmmmmm..."
At this point, he starts talking to another embassy agent, and says things like "Do you have any problems with this? Do you have any other questions? What do you think?" By about the second question that he asked us, I realized that we were possibly going to get denied. I started praying...hard. After a few seconds, Leah pinched my leg...hard. I knew exactly what she was thinking. This was supposed to be a formality, and here it is they're maybe going to deny us? So many thoughts flooded my head that were all over the place:
"I barely know these kids - will it destroy me if they're taken from us?"
"God brought us this far with no difficulties, and there's no way He's letting it fall apart now."
"How can this hourly employee hold the power to confirm or deny us as a family?"
"I'm going to be sick"
"That &$##%$&&^&^$$ lawyer!"
"No"
"God, have mercy on us"
This whole process couldn't have taken more than two minutes, but it seemed like we were in front of that window for five hours. In the end, the embassy agent slowly said, "I guess it's alright." He explained his reasons for concern to us; most orphans come from single parent homes where there are multiple children. In this case, the fact that there were two parents with no other mouths to feed made it suspicious that they somehow profited by giving up Jada and Bennett. What satisfied him that it was probably on the up and up was that a sufficient amount of time had passed from when the children were put in the orphanage to when they were placed with us. As of this year, the US State Dept has barred adoptions from Guatemala and Vietnam because of child trafficking - parents having children solely to sell them, kidnappers selling their victims to orphanages, hospitals selling newborn infants whose parents can't pay their bills, etc. They are working to prevent other countries from going down that same road.
By that same token, our lawyer told us not to carry out a planned trip to meet the birth parents. They live in a small town about thirty minutes away from Adis. We had thought long and hard about if we should meet them, and I was of the strong opinion that we should. In the first place, I wanted to pay them homage for providing us with the shared treasure of these two children. Also, I wanted to learn stories about the family to relay to Jada and Bennett when they're older. Being adopted leaves a whole lot of question marks in a kid's life, and I wanted to find at least some answers to those questions for them. Apparently, the fear was that we would give money to the parents to help them out, and that would be construed as child trafficking. We never received a totally straight answer about why we shouldn't go, but we weren't about to jeopardize our situation by ignoring a directive (even if it was from a jackass).
So we didn't meet the parents, but we did take a trip to where Jada and Bennett were first given up for adoption. There is an orphanage in Ambo, about two hours away from Adis. It's the capital of Oromiya, which is the region where the kids were born. There is a brand new paved road all the way to Ambo, so the driving was smooth. The only things to interrupt us were the occasional herd of goats, donkeys, and cows in the road. The countryside was absolutely amazing. The landscape is very reminiscent of the foothills of the Rockies (except that there's nobody wearing Broncos gear). Everything is lush green, and there are traditional grass huts and acacia groves dotted here and there. It was the planting season, so there were a ton of subsistence farmers out plowing their fields. I woke up to how ignorant I am while on the drive. I assumed that in the year 2008 even the poorest farmer in the world would have a rusty metal plow. Not so. Every single farmer we saw was using wood plows to turn the earth.
The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. We went to market to shop for some gifts, got to see Damon and Heidi a little more, and of course, just got used to being parents. Part of getting used to being parents is the diapers. For my very first diaper change, Jada had the good grace to poop as I was changing the diaper. Thanks for that. We also had a few blowouts where the diaper couldn't contain the damage. I hope that my poop tolerance ratchets up a lot higher soon.
We flew out on Thursday night, and I had a tough drive to the airport. So many people had told us of their desire to get to America, and so many Ethiopians had repeated "Lucky children" over Jada and Bennett that it seemed wrong that I was getting on the airplane instead of them.
The plane ride was long, but the kids were pretty darn good. I thought I had a foolproof plan for getting Bennett to sleep through the night. I figured just because I don't like taking pills doesn't mean that my kid has to not like taking pills. I slipped him a small dose of Dramamine, and he was out quick. I thought I was a genius until thirty minutes later. At that point, whenever I shifted my weight, he would wake up and cry. It then turned into a Three Stooges farce where I'd have to stand up for him to go back to sleep, and then when I'd try to sit down he would wake up again. Long night. Especially since Jada was sleeping like an angel sans sleeping pills on Leah's lap.
When we got home, Leah's mom and dad greeted us at the airport along with five or six of her college and high school friends. It was really nice to have a welcoming reception for the kids. We had a surreal moment two hours into the trip home when we needed to stop to feed and change the kids. We stopped at a Wendy's for lunch, and I was just thinking how far removed these kids were from their culture in less than 24 hours. I mean, we had just taken them from the land of the Queen of Sheba and ancient civilizations to the Home of the Frosty. They didn't seem to mind much, though.
Now we've been home for a couple of days and things are going great. Jada and Bennett's personalities have really started to shine through. When we were in Adis, Bennett didn't smile much, and his nurse told us that he was a very serious baby. We were home 24 hours, and he was smiling and babbling like crazy. He just needed a family is all. He's also eating approximately the same amount as a quarterhorse. Jada is also doing great. She's smiling and babbling and trying to stand and having a good time all around. We are beyond blessed to have two wonderful kids, and we thank you all for the prayers and moral support you've given to help make it possible. We'll keep you updated on the major developments. Much love to all of you.
For those who are more about pictures than long, somewhat boring blog posts, see the slide show at the top left of the blog!
If any of you would like to donate money, toys, or clothes (particularly for kids six and up) to Toukoul Orphanage, please send it to me and Leah at 425-A McArthur Dr, Elizabeth City, NC 27909, and we will get it there.
Hello everybody! Thanks again for all of the warm wishes and prayers that y'all have been sending our way. I've been constantly amazed at how much people have taken a heartfelt interest in this adoption. I feel like David Archuleta, actually: "Wow! I mean, geez, you really like it? You really care? Aw geez, this is unbelievable!" So thank you again for all the support you've given.
The trip was kind of like going to Vegas - we were only gone for a week, but it felt like a month. I hadn't really thought much about the trip beforehand; I just kind of thought that we'd go, meet the kids, hang out with the kids, and come home after a week. If you had actually asked me what I thought things would be like, I would have realized that we would be busy during the whole time with what had to get done. But none of you asked me, so I went on in ignorance.
Before we even checked in for the flight, we met Brenda and Gary. They happened to be adopting two little six-year-old girls through the same agency that we used. As it turned out, we turned into one big family at the guesthouse where we all stayed in Adis. They have grown children of their own, and they adopted two boys from China a few years ago. We were so blessed to have them with us throughout the week; their fellowship, parenting advice, and babysitting were greatly appreciated.
Our flight over was uneventful, the more so because of the poor movie selection (Mad Money? Have they no decency?!) Random note: Ethiopian Airlines actually has a page on their website advertising that they have spare airplane parts for sale. That sure inspires confidence every time you hit a pocket of turbulence. Anyway, we were met at the airport by the lawyer who had represented us in the court proceedings there, as well as our driver for the week, Wendy. More about the lawyer later (cue foreboding music).
They took us straight to the orphanage to meet the twins. The whole thing was surreal. We had been waiting for this moment like a couple of ADHD kids waiting for Christmas morning, and now that it was here, we were both very serene. It wasn't too long before we saw two nurses carrying two familiar faces. It's a strange and wonderful thing to finally see and touch the children that you have only known through a photograph. First impressions: he has big old brown eyes that quietly soak in everything around him and a very sweet, reserved countenance. Her - just gorgeous. She had me at "WAH!"
One of the nurses handed Bennett to Leah, and he immediately grabbed her tight and put his head on her chest. I got Jada, and...well, let's just say that I wasn't what she was looking for. But she only cried for a few minutes and then settled down. The orphanage had a lounge area where new families can interact with each other, and we spent the next two hours holding them, looking at them, singing to them, laughing with them, thanking God for them. I guess this would be a good place to mention that we were very pleased and impressed with the conditions of the orphanage. There were probably around 200 children in the orphanage, and they all appeared to be very well taken care of. The ages ranged from infants up to about age 10. There is a paved yard for soccer, playground with an honest-to-goodness slide and merry-go-round, library, tv room, and clean living facilities. We looked in on the toddler playroom later in the week, and there were about thirty of the cutest little maniacs you've ever seen running amok. It was awesome. The caretakers were exceptional. It was very apparent that they loved and cared for the children under their keep.
Needless to say, it is heart-wrenching to meet bright, lively, good-looking boys and girls that have no parents. There was a group of boys playing soccer who came up pointing to me and saying, "My name is..." trying to get my name. Apparently, they don't have a good grasp on second person pronouns just yet. They told me their names and thought it was hilarious when I butchered the pronunciations. If anyone of you reading this is thinking about adopting a few elementary aged boys, Surofit and Waldesamat would sure like to talk to you. And I'll put in a good word on their behalf. The kids that just about sent me to my knees were the ones with severe disabilities. Their chances for adoption are slim, and they obviously have no one to care for them when they age out of the orphanage. Who will care for them?
When it was time for Jada and Bennett's lunch and nap, we handed them off to their nurses and went to drop off our things. We were advised to slowly integrate ourselves into Jada & Bennett's world, so for the first few days we would spend part of the day with them and then leave them with their nurses. I'm still not sure why we can't keep that system going forever.
The guesthouse that we stayed at was affiliated with the orphanage. That made things very easy, since the service at the guesthouse was tailored to folks who were always coming and going with their adopted children. I already mentioned our driver, Wendy, and there were around ten others who did everything from cooking to guarding the gate. Our main point of contact in the house was the head chef, also a Wendy. I cannot emphasize enough how great they all were. At one point I asked for a special favor, and driver Wendy told me, "This is like your house. Whatever you would do at home, please do here. Is no problem." The two Wendys stood out in particular, along with one of the female cooks who was always smiling and cooing over the children. The food was awesome - lots of soups, stews, and curries.
On Sunday, we brought Jada and Bennett home with us for the day. The highlight of the day was when my college roommate Damon came over for a visit. Damon, his wife Heidi, and their daughter Dasia, are living over that direction right now. Damon is teaching English, and Heidi works in public health. I hadn't seen him since their wedding, so we had a lot of catching up to do. We went for a walk in the neighborhood, and he took Dasia (aged 20 months) with us. There's not a whole lot of white faces (ferenj) in Adis, and even fewer ferenj babies with day-glow blond hair. Let me tell you, it was like we were walking down the street with Bono. She was up on Damon's shoulders, and whole busloads of Ethiopians would wave at her while she'd wave back and yell 'Hi!'. It's as close to famous as I've ever been.
Monday was our embassy day. Everything had been cleared by the Ethiopian government, so now all we had to do was get the American government to okay the adoption. We went with Brenda and Gary and all of our kids, and when we got there, some of us had forgotten our passports (I won't say who). Our lawyer went absolutely ballistic on us for being careless and irresponsible. Strike one on him. We got back to the guesthouse, and the lawyer had us sit down to fill out our paperwork that we would need at the embassy when we went back. I asked a question about how to fill out a certain part, and it was blatantly obvious that this man who is supposed to know the adoption process inside and out had never looked at the forms needed by the US government. Strike two on him. We get to the embassy, and the lawyer goes ballistic on Gary again when he finds out that he hadn't filled out all the paperwork that he needed to. Strike three on him. At this point, Leah tells him to shut his piehole (so to speak), and he just keeps yammering on about how we screwed things up. In my mind, I saw one of those big shepherd's hooks that yanked him out of the room while the rest of us cheered. He was a complete jerk. Then, after all this is said and done, he hints that he wants a tip for his services before we leave town. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Asphinctersayswhat? Exactly.
Once our paperwork was complete, we had to be interviewed by one of the embassy workers in charge of adoptions. He asked us to verify the information on our paperwork and proceeded to ask us some questions about Jada and Bennett's parents:
Him- "How many parents?", Us - "Two", Him - "Hmmmmmm...."
Him- "How many living?", Us- "Both", Him- "Hmmmmmmmmm...."
Him- "How many other children do the parents have?", Us- "None", Him- "Hmmmmmm..."
At this point, he starts talking to another embassy agent, and says things like "Do you have any problems with this? Do you have any other questions? What do you think?" By about the second question that he asked us, I realized that we were possibly going to get denied. I started praying...hard. After a few seconds, Leah pinched my leg...hard. I knew exactly what she was thinking. This was supposed to be a formality, and here it is they're maybe going to deny us? So many thoughts flooded my head that were all over the place:
"I barely know these kids - will it destroy me if they're taken from us?"
"God brought us this far with no difficulties, and there's no way He's letting it fall apart now."
"How can this hourly employee hold the power to confirm or deny us as a family?"
"I'm going to be sick"
"That &$##%$&&^&^$$ lawyer!"
"No"
"God, have mercy on us"
This whole process couldn't have taken more than two minutes, but it seemed like we were in front of that window for five hours. In the end, the embassy agent slowly said, "I guess it's alright." He explained his reasons for concern to us; most orphans come from single parent homes where there are multiple children. In this case, the fact that there were two parents with no other mouths to feed made it suspicious that they somehow profited by giving up Jada and Bennett. What satisfied him that it was probably on the up and up was that a sufficient amount of time had passed from when the children were put in the orphanage to when they were placed with us. As of this year, the US State Dept has barred adoptions from Guatemala and Vietnam because of child trafficking - parents having children solely to sell them, kidnappers selling their victims to orphanages, hospitals selling newborn infants whose parents can't pay their bills, etc. They are working to prevent other countries from going down that same road.
By that same token, our lawyer told us not to carry out a planned trip to meet the birth parents. They live in a small town about thirty minutes away from Adis. We had thought long and hard about if we should meet them, and I was of the strong opinion that we should. In the first place, I wanted to pay them homage for providing us with the shared treasure of these two children. Also, I wanted to learn stories about the family to relay to Jada and Bennett when they're older. Being adopted leaves a whole lot of question marks in a kid's life, and I wanted to find at least some answers to those questions for them. Apparently, the fear was that we would give money to the parents to help them out, and that would be construed as child trafficking. We never received a totally straight answer about why we shouldn't go, but we weren't about to jeopardize our situation by ignoring a directive (even if it was from a jackass).
So we didn't meet the parents, but we did take a trip to where Jada and Bennett were first given up for adoption. There is an orphanage in Ambo, about two hours away from Adis. It's the capital of Oromiya, which is the region where the kids were born. There is a brand new paved road all the way to Ambo, so the driving was smooth. The only things to interrupt us were the occasional herd of goats, donkeys, and cows in the road. The countryside was absolutely amazing. The landscape is very reminiscent of the foothills of the Rockies (except that there's nobody wearing Broncos gear). Everything is lush green, and there are traditional grass huts and acacia groves dotted here and there. It was the planting season, so there were a ton of subsistence farmers out plowing their fields. I woke up to how ignorant I am while on the drive. I assumed that in the year 2008 even the poorest farmer in the world would have a rusty metal plow. Not so. Every single farmer we saw was using wood plows to turn the earth.
The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. We went to market to shop for some gifts, got to see Damon and Heidi a little more, and of course, just got used to being parents. Part of getting used to being parents is the diapers. For my very first diaper change, Jada had the good grace to poop as I was changing the diaper. Thanks for that. We also had a few blowouts where the diaper couldn't contain the damage. I hope that my poop tolerance ratchets up a lot higher soon.
We flew out on Thursday night, and I had a tough drive to the airport. So many people had told us of their desire to get to America, and so many Ethiopians had repeated "Lucky children" over Jada and Bennett that it seemed wrong that I was getting on the airplane instead of them.
The plane ride was long, but the kids were pretty darn good. I thought I had a foolproof plan for getting Bennett to sleep through the night. I figured just because I don't like taking pills doesn't mean that my kid has to not like taking pills. I slipped him a small dose of Dramamine, and he was out quick. I thought I was a genius until thirty minutes later. At that point, whenever I shifted my weight, he would wake up and cry. It then turned into a Three Stooges farce where I'd have to stand up for him to go back to sleep, and then when I'd try to sit down he would wake up again. Long night. Especially since Jada was sleeping like an angel sans sleeping pills on Leah's lap.
When we got home, Leah's mom and dad greeted us at the airport along with five or six of her college and high school friends. It was really nice to have a welcoming reception for the kids. We had a surreal moment two hours into the trip home when we needed to stop to feed and change the kids. We stopped at a Wendy's for lunch, and I was just thinking how far removed these kids were from their culture in less than 24 hours. I mean, we had just taken them from the land of the Queen of Sheba and ancient civilizations to the Home of the Frosty. They didn't seem to mind much, though.
Now we've been home for a couple of days and things are going great. Jada and Bennett's personalities have really started to shine through. When we were in Adis, Bennett didn't smile much, and his nurse told us that he was a very serious baby. We were home 24 hours, and he was smiling and babbling like crazy. He just needed a family is all. He's also eating approximately the same amount as a quarterhorse. Jada is also doing great. She's smiling and babbling and trying to stand and having a good time all around. We are beyond blessed to have two wonderful kids, and we thank you all for the prayers and moral support you've given to help make it possible. We'll keep you updated on the major developments. Much love to all of you.
WE'RE HOME!!! We're honored that so many of you have been looking for updates from us...here's to Ethiopia--blogspot is blocked by the government so we couldn't post a thing. But...our kids are nothing short of amazing. They are phenomenal--sweet, giggly, snuggly, and beautiful. We'll write more shortly, but I wanted to get up a few photos and a short update as soon as possible! We landed in DC yesterday morning, and Grandma and Opi (my-Leah's- parents) and some friends Susan (Clark) and her mom, MaryZ (Fleming) and Wills, and Jessica (Willis Schick), and Jen Smedley greated us with big smiles, tears, and treats. It was amazing to have family (and practically family) with us right away. We then drove down to North Carolina (in the worst traffic ever) and got in last night. We've had a great morning, the kids continue to amaze us with their great demeanors and sweet faces, and now they are napping. More to come soon. Here's a few pics right away...
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Three days and counting!
In three days, we will be on the plane to Ethiopia! In four days, we will be with our kids! We're so excited. Actually, words can't express the feelings we are experiencing, so I won't try. I will tell you that we have learned so much through this experience...and we haven't even met our kids yet! People say parenting teaches you so much--funny how that begins before holding your babies. We have grown as people, as a couple, as Christ-followers, and...in every way. We are so looking forward to holding Jada and Bennett and watching them grow up.
Thanks for all of your love, support, encouragement, prayers, advice..everything. We have been totally humbled by all of you. Thanks.
We'll be trying to update from Ethiopia--with pictures and everything!
Dave and Leah
Thanks for all of your love, support, encouragement, prayers, advice..everything. We have been totally humbled by all of you. Thanks.
We'll be trying to update from Ethiopia--with pictures and everything!
Dave and Leah
Friday, May 23, 2008
Wow--I look at other people's blogs and feel very lame on the postings and updates. Alas, we've had a few things going on...
First of all, we passed court on May 8th, so we're officially the parents of two darling 10 month olds! I went to a presentation for work on the morning of the 8th and thought how funny it would be if someone asked me if I had kids. How often does it happen that a woman can give the true response and it is, "maybe." Because Ethiopia is hours ahead and our agency is on the West Coast, we had passed court in Ethiopia, but didn't know it yet!
It was a weird feeling to have children (totally, officially, last names are Simpson), and not be with them. It was then that my feelings changed. I had felt patient (overall) and ok about the process, but all of a sudden I wondered, "why are OUR children living in an orphanage? They should be home with us NOW where they belong!" So although we celebrated the day, I was actually more sad than I had been because I really felt they should just be home. So how long would that take?
Orignally, our agency had said it would be two weeks after we passed court that we would be getting a travel date (I thought), which would be two to three weeks out (5 more weeks of waiting). When Dave spoke to them on our court date, he thought they said it would be FOUR weeks before we heard about our travel time...two weeks doesn't seem so long, but when you're waiting to bring your kids home, it is. We were trying to get more clarity on this time frame, and feeling a bit confused. After about a day of that, I let it go. I reminded myself how faithful God has been in this whole process and how sure HE was of when our kids would be home--that it would be perfect. Well, the 13th we got an email with our travel date! So forget two or four weeks, how about 5 days! Again, as soon as I let it go and trusted God, something moved forward. The lesson continues to be learned...
So, we found out we needed to be in Ethiopia for our Embassy appointment on June 9th. Just yesterday, we got our tickets to Ethiopia, and we leave two weeks from today! Yippee! We'll be gone June 6-13. We're driving up to DC to fly out, but then our flights are relatively direct (a stop, but no plane change, which is awesome). You'd think the bazillion miles we have on different carries would help, but no. Of course, that's all so much less important than bringing our babies home! We'll be landing at Dulles on the morning of the 13th (and welcome visitors at the airport for those of you who have asked :)).
Now we're just preparing...everything. I look up and realize that a one year old would pull over this shelf, or that piece of art, and we're baby proofing. I'm trying to cook meals to freeze. I need to figure out what size diapers they wear, put plugs in the outlets, batteries in the toys, a fence up to keep them out of the water! Really, though, if they were here right now we'd be fine. Most importantly, we're full of love for Jada and Bennett, and we're excited to have them home. Our prayers continue to be that they are healthy and happy, and that we all attach well. We thank you for your prayers, too--you're support and love through this whole process has been amazing. Please put comments on the blog--I'm excited to be able to share this with Jada and Bennett some day as a part of a "baby book" of sorts, and I know your kind words will be so meaningful to them. I have saved every email and can't wait to show them how many people loved them, were praying for them, and were excited about them long before we knew them.
Much love to all of you.
First of all, we passed court on May 8th, so we're officially the parents of two darling 10 month olds! I went to a presentation for work on the morning of the 8th and thought how funny it would be if someone asked me if I had kids. How often does it happen that a woman can give the true response and it is, "maybe." Because Ethiopia is hours ahead and our agency is on the West Coast, we had passed court in Ethiopia, but didn't know it yet!
It was a weird feeling to have children (totally, officially, last names are Simpson), and not be with them. It was then that my feelings changed. I had felt patient (overall) and ok about the process, but all of a sudden I wondered, "why are OUR children living in an orphanage? They should be home with us NOW where they belong!" So although we celebrated the day, I was actually more sad than I had been because I really felt they should just be home. So how long would that take?
Orignally, our agency had said it would be two weeks after we passed court that we would be getting a travel date (I thought), which would be two to three weeks out (5 more weeks of waiting). When Dave spoke to them on our court date, he thought they said it would be FOUR weeks before we heard about our travel time...two weeks doesn't seem so long, but when you're waiting to bring your kids home, it is. We were trying to get more clarity on this time frame, and feeling a bit confused. After about a day of that, I let it go. I reminded myself how faithful God has been in this whole process and how sure HE was of when our kids would be home--that it would be perfect. Well, the 13th we got an email with our travel date! So forget two or four weeks, how about 5 days! Again, as soon as I let it go and trusted God, something moved forward. The lesson continues to be learned...
So, we found out we needed to be in Ethiopia for our Embassy appointment on June 9th. Just yesterday, we got our tickets to Ethiopia, and we leave two weeks from today! Yippee! We'll be gone June 6-13. We're driving up to DC to fly out, but then our flights are relatively direct (a stop, but no plane change, which is awesome). You'd think the bazillion miles we have on different carries would help, but no. Of course, that's all so much less important than bringing our babies home! We'll be landing at Dulles on the morning of the 13th (and welcome visitors at the airport for those of you who have asked :)).
Now we're just preparing...everything. I look up and realize that a one year old would pull over this shelf, or that piece of art, and we're baby proofing. I'm trying to cook meals to freeze. I need to figure out what size diapers they wear, put plugs in the outlets, batteries in the toys, a fence up to keep them out of the water! Really, though, if they were here right now we'd be fine. Most importantly, we're full of love for Jada and Bennett, and we're excited to have them home. Our prayers continue to be that they are healthy and happy, and that we all attach well. We thank you for your prayers, too--you're support and love through this whole process has been amazing. Please put comments on the blog--I'm excited to be able to share this with Jada and Bennett some day as a part of a "baby book" of sorts, and I know your kind words will be so meaningful to them. I have saved every email and can't wait to show them how many people loved them, were praying for them, and were excited about them long before we knew them.
Much love to all of you.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Court date on Thursday!
We're so excited...court is Thursday, and--God willing--we'll be parents! We're thrilled and can't wait. We'll update as soon as we know anything else...
Monday, April 28, 2008
We have a court date!
Most people emphatically say, "Congratulations! That's great!" and then mumble, "What does that mean?" Here's the scoop--the next step is to have a court appointment in Ethiopia (we don't go--a power of attorney goes in our place) where we officially become their parents! It's set for May 8th! Unbelievable. We are so excited. Our agency director says that most people have no problems and pass the first court date, but we still ask for your prayers that everything goes smoothly and the adoption is official on the 8th. Sometimes people have odd delays due to a paperwork issue, etc., and have to go to court again. No reason to expect that to happen, though. Another possible issue is the court not being open on that day, which could happen because power has been out a lot in Ethiopia recently. Apparently, a lot of the power is hydropower, and the rain has been...absent. Either way, it should be official very soon! So, Lord willing, we'll be parents on May 8th.
After that, we wait for the paperwork to be finalized and then get a travel date. Looks like we'll be heading to Ethiopia in the first couple weeks of June! Hooray!
Did we already post their names? I'm not sure...Jada and Bennett. So Jada and Bennett will be home by their first birthday, which is June 30th. What a celebration! Thanks again for all of your continued support and encouragement--we have been truly overwhelmed by the goodness of our friends and family and by the beauty of community. Even though our community crosses many states, we feel your thougths and prayers and can't thank you enough!
After that, we wait for the paperwork to be finalized and then get a travel date. Looks like we'll be heading to Ethiopia in the first couple weeks of June! Hooray!
Did we already post their names? I'm not sure...Jada and Bennett. So Jada and Bennett will be home by their first birthday, which is June 30th. What a celebration! Thanks again for all of your continued support and encouragement--we have been truly overwhelmed by the goodness of our friends and family and by the beauty of community. Even though our community crosses many states, we feel your thougths and prayers and can't thank you enough!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Health Update
So our babies are shorties!! Who would have guessed. Maybe that NBA career isn't in the cards. I realize that at 9 months heights don't really mean much, but it's funny to me. We just got a recent doctor's update for both of them, and they are happy, healthy, and progressing normally--yippee! They are both 26 inches (his update was at 8 months and hers at 9--go figure). At those same times, he was 17.5 lbs, and she was 15.5 lbs, both of which are at the low range of "average" for 9 months. Of course, twins are often on the lower range anyway (because they are often born before full-term, they're measurements at this young age often correspond more closely to babies who were full term on their actual birth date--make sense? It all evens out by age two--I'm learning a few things!), so we're pretty thrilled. They both are crawling, pulling to stand, waving bye-bye, and saying "Mama." They are calling out to me, too! (Or at least I'll imagine it to be so--they will very soon!)
Oh, and we learned that her given birth name is not Marta. Aaaah, the idiosyncrasies of adoption. It's Martha. We still haven't chosen the names that we will give them.
Oh, and we learned that her given birth name is not Marta. Aaaah, the idiosyncrasies of adoption. It's Martha. We still haven't chosen the names that we will give them.
Monday, March 31, 2008
The un-update update
We got pictures! Our kids are so cute! They are precious, and smiling, and they look alike. It's a funny thing to look at children that you will raise, love, put bandaids on, send to college, watch get married........and know they are alive and well half way around the world instead of in our home. We can't put pictures here or send them by email (it's illegal at this stage in the process), so you'll just have to trust us--they're cute. Now we wait for a court date. And once we pass court, we get a travel date, and once we get a travel date, we get tickets, and once we get tickets, we wait to travel, and once we travel, we get to meet them. And then, after all this waiting for each other a world apart we come HOME and start our life as the Simpson family of four. Adis Betasab. We can't wait.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Big news!
Hey everyone! We got some fantastic news last week -- we've been really nervous about it, and we've been talking a whole lot about how it's going to change our lives. We weren't sure that it would actually happen, though. It was supposed to take a lot longer, but we finally found out that we're due for a tax refund this year! Yea!
Oh, and we also learned that we're going to be parents to twins. You know, just the regular...or at least the regular for the Simpson family! TWINS! We can't believe it. The quick details: fraternal twins, boy and girl, born June 30, 2007. We were kind of hoping for a birthday closer to Christmas so we could cop out and only get one set of gifts a year, but I guess that's not happening. We haven't received any pictures yet, and we won't until all of our paperwork is official. Their given names are Marta (her) and Abebe (him -- pronounced a-BAY-bay). However, in all likelihood, we will probably be giving them new first names. Particularly for him, we're thinking that it could be a long childhood of explaining, "No, not A-bee-bee, but Abebe."
This development caught us totally off guard because we didn't even have our paperwork finalized. We weren't aware that it was possible to get a placement without having all the documentation submitted. It all started when Radu, our agency director in Oregon, sent Leah an email with an attachment and a quick tagline, "We need to discuss this." The attachment was a collection of court and orphanage documents that had information on the children. He had meant for it to be an understated message in order to enhance the surprise and joy. It was so understated, in fact, that Leah totally ignored the message in her inbox. In her defense she was teaching a workshop in Denver that day, and so she only glanced through her messages briefly when she had a few minutes between sessions.
I had to call Radu for something that day, and he asked me if Leah and I had talked about the email. When I asked him what he was talking about, he gave some cryptic answer about needing to talk after we read the email. At that point I was pretty sure I knew what was going on, but I didn't have the email myself. I was flustered enough that I didn't even think to ask Radu to forward the email to me at work. I was almost done at the office, so I made a beeline home where I had access to check Leah's email. Sure enough, there was the information on the two future Simpsons. I was laughing and crying at the same time, and I was DYING that Leah was 2000 miles away. I'm a big fan of our cat and dog, but celebrating with them was a poor substitute. Plus, Atticus is a mean drunk.
The first pages were medical reports detailing the children's satisfactory physical, mental, and health conditions. The following pages were court records detailing how the children came to be placed in an orphanage. Their parents are married and working as house servants in Addis Ababa. They had to give up Marta and Abebe because they have no extended family, and they could not care for them alone.
Up until this point, I had been overjoyed at our good fortune of getting placed with twins (our highest preference) so quickly. But as I continued reading through the court records, I had a vivid image of an Ethiopian couple about the same age as Leah and me handing their children over into strange hands. I know how much Leah and I have desired a family, and the thought of being forced to give away something so true and dear after wanting it so much is unimaginable to me. I prayed to God in thanks for allowing us to be parents for these children, and at the same time asked Him for a world in which parents are not forced to give their children away because they can't afford them. I didn't fully realize until that minute that raising adopted children is not just a huge responsibility, but also an unbelievable honor. It's our job to raise Marta and Abebe into a woman and man that will make their parents proud.
I finally got in touch with Leah about 10:00 at night and told her she needed to check her email. She called me back in less than a minute. I'm pretty sure I've never heard anyone sound so happy in my life. I could hear her smile through the phone. She told me she fell onto the floor when she opened the attachment. Again, getting news like this is a bad time to be 2000 miles apart. We talked and laughed for a long time about how unbelievable this was. We didn't officially start our paperwork until December, and less than 3 months later we have a referral for twins.
At the time, we were waiting for our approval from Citizenship and Immigration Services, which we weren't supposed to get for another two months. I talked to Helene Nathanson, who is the president of an adoption agency in Charlotte, and she was an absolute angel. She took up our cause to some of her contacts in the government, and we received our papers this week. We'll send them to our international agency next week, and we've been told to expect that we'll travel to pick up the children in about three months. That means we could be parents by early summer. We'll keep you updated and post pics when we have them.
Oh, and we also learned that we're going to be parents to twins. You know, just the regular...or at least the regular for the Simpson family! TWINS! We can't believe it. The quick details: fraternal twins, boy and girl, born June 30, 2007. We were kind of hoping for a birthday closer to Christmas so we could cop out and only get one set of gifts a year, but I guess that's not happening. We haven't received any pictures yet, and we won't until all of our paperwork is official. Their given names are Marta (her) and Abebe (him -- pronounced a-BAY-bay). However, in all likelihood, we will probably be giving them new first names. Particularly for him, we're thinking that it could be a long childhood of explaining, "No, not A-bee-bee, but Abebe."
This development caught us totally off guard because we didn't even have our paperwork finalized. We weren't aware that it was possible to get a placement without having all the documentation submitted. It all started when Radu, our agency director in Oregon, sent Leah an email with an attachment and a quick tagline, "We need to discuss this." The attachment was a collection of court and orphanage documents that had information on the children. He had meant for it to be an understated message in order to enhance the surprise and joy. It was so understated, in fact, that Leah totally ignored the message in her inbox. In her defense she was teaching a workshop in Denver that day, and so she only glanced through her messages briefly when she had a few minutes between sessions.
I had to call Radu for something that day, and he asked me if Leah and I had talked about the email. When I asked him what he was talking about, he gave some cryptic answer about needing to talk after we read the email. At that point I was pretty sure I knew what was going on, but I didn't have the email myself. I was flustered enough that I didn't even think to ask Radu to forward the email to me at work. I was almost done at the office, so I made a beeline home where I had access to check Leah's email. Sure enough, there was the information on the two future Simpsons. I was laughing and crying at the same time, and I was DYING that Leah was 2000 miles away. I'm a big fan of our cat and dog, but celebrating with them was a poor substitute. Plus, Atticus is a mean drunk.
The first pages were medical reports detailing the children's satisfactory physical, mental, and health conditions. The following pages were court records detailing how the children came to be placed in an orphanage. Their parents are married and working as house servants in Addis Ababa. They had to give up Marta and Abebe because they have no extended family, and they could not care for them alone.
Up until this point, I had been overjoyed at our good fortune of getting placed with twins (our highest preference) so quickly. But as I continued reading through the court records, I had a vivid image of an Ethiopian couple about the same age as Leah and me handing their children over into strange hands. I know how much Leah and I have desired a family, and the thought of being forced to give away something so true and dear after wanting it so much is unimaginable to me. I prayed to God in thanks for allowing us to be parents for these children, and at the same time asked Him for a world in which parents are not forced to give their children away because they can't afford them. I didn't fully realize until that minute that raising adopted children is not just a huge responsibility, but also an unbelievable honor. It's our job to raise Marta and Abebe into a woman and man that will make their parents proud.
I finally got in touch with Leah about 10:00 at night and told her she needed to check her email. She called me back in less than a minute. I'm pretty sure I've never heard anyone sound so happy in my life. I could hear her smile through the phone. She told me she fell onto the floor when she opened the attachment. Again, getting news like this is a bad time to be 2000 miles apart. We talked and laughed for a long time about how unbelievable this was. We didn't officially start our paperwork until December, and less than 3 months later we have a referral for twins.
At the time, we were waiting for our approval from Citizenship and Immigration Services, which we weren't supposed to get for another two months. I talked to Helene Nathanson, who is the president of an adoption agency in Charlotte, and she was an absolute angel. She took up our cause to some of her contacts in the government, and we received our papers this week. We'll send them to our international agency next week, and we've been told to expect that we'll travel to pick up the children in about three months. That means we could be parents by early summer. We'll keep you updated and post pics when we have them.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
First Update
OK--so we realize that a lot of our closest friends and family have lots of questions about what is going on in our household! So, we decided to jump into the world of blogging (in fact, to learn what a blog really is), which is supposed to help to keep everyone in the loop.
First off, we chose a name for the site--Adis Betasab--which we THINK means "new family" in Amharic, the primary language of Ethiopia (Considering it was still available, it may mean something entirely different, but we're going with it). Why new family? Why Amharic? Well, in case you haven't heard, we're in the process of adopting from two children from Ethiopia, thus starting a new family! How exciting. We think so.
Where to begin--let's explain the process and what's required. A better question would be what's not required, really. We have spent the last two months filling out paperwork, meeting with social workers, getting our fingers printed (twice), becoming friends with the notary, asking others to write us letters, and hoping we clear Department of Homeland Security checks! As our international adoption agency clarified for us, there are basically three major parts of the adoption paperwork preparation: 1. A homestudy, 2. Immigration clearance, and 3. Dossier papers. If you're like us, that didn't help to clear it up at all! I'll explain (this may be really boring):
1. A homestudy is done by a State licensed social worker who approves you as a family capable of adopting. They require not only multiple interviews with a social worker, but also a home visit to make sure that we are not living in squalor (good thing we cleaned the house) and lots of paperwork. The paperwork is stuff like a medical clearance, financial information, criminal clearance, referral letters from friends, etc.
2. Immigration clearance is done by the Department of Homeland Security. You have to request an appointment, they give you a date, and you go all the way to Charlotte to get fingerprinted. Mind you, Norfolk is less than an hour away, but it's in Virginia, so we can't go. Instead we are required to go six hours west to Charlotte--aaah, the beauty of bureaucracy.
3. Dossier papers is what is required by the Ethiopian government to adopt. The homestudy and immigration clearance become a part of the dossier, but there are 18 (for real) other things they need, too. Their paperwork is also medical clearances, financial information, and referral letters but they all are different from the ones for the homestudy! It's nuts. Plus, they need letters from our employers, from us, photos, birth certificates, marriage licenses...the list goes on. And everything has to be notarized and then the notaries have to be authenticated.
Makes you want to adopt, huh?
So here's a bit more personalization of the process for us:
We wanted to start adopting back in August, but because we were moving to North Carolina, it really didn't make any sense: the homestudy is done by your state, so if we moved before the adoption was complete we'd have to start over. So we waited until we got to North Carolina. We did, however, do lots of research as to what agencies to use--oh, you need two--one to do the international part and one to do the homestudy.
In late November (we moved here the week of Thanksgiving), we requested a fingerprinting appointment. They give you a date, and you can only tell them it doesn't work once. If it doesn't work twice, you automatically get denied and have to start over. Needless to say, with our travel schedules, we wondered how it was going to all play out. We also started the homestudy process. We met with our social worker a few times--many people say it is really educational, but we didn't really feel that way. She was super nice and encouraging, but not super enlightening. Regardless, we since have been approved, so it's all good!
December and January were spent collecting all the papers. I won't (continue) to bore you with more details, but I'll sum it up by saying there is red tape on top of red tape on top of red tape. You have to find the right department to give you the exact paperwork, pay for it by money order, fill it out perfectly, then get it notarized. You get the point. Also, we didn't have established relationships here in NC yet, so, for example, not only did we need a doctor's clearance, we needed to find a doctor. We're now at the point where ALL of our papers are collected and notarized (amazing), so we have to get it all authenticated. Another layer of red tape. We often remind ourselves that all the steps are to protect children, which makes it more bearable.
In mid-January, we received a letter with our immigration finger printing appointment--January 31st, which happened to be, literally, the ONLY day in the next 7 weeks that neither of us had something on our calendar! Thank you, Lord. The trip was actually fun--we drove to Charlotte, spent about an hour getting fingerprinted, and drove home. On the way back, we realized the Tar Heels had a home basketball game, so we went. What a blast.
We came back from Charlotte to find exciting things in our mailbox--the homestudy (which had been sent weeks prior and was MIA), my certificate of birth abroad (which we had requested from the State Department and been waiting for since October), and the State Criminal clearance letters! That was everything! Well, except for the DHS (Dept. Homeland Security) clearance.
Yesterday, we scanned and emailed ALL of our paperwork to our agency. The guy there is awesome. We'll wait to make sure it's all ok, and then send it to him!
So what's next? We wait. Once we're officially done with all the paperwork, we get the whole dossier authenticated (I'm not sure what that means yet, either) and wait for the DHS clearance. Once that comes, which they said would be between late February and late March, our dossier (what's required of the Ethiopian government) is complete. It then gets submitted to Ethiopia, and we wait for a referral (a referral is what they call the part where you are matched with your kids). How long do you wait, you ask (everyone does)? We don't know. Probably between 2 and 6 months--average right now is about 4. Then we find out who our kids are (yippee!), and we wait more...we wait for a court date to make it official, and then once it's official, we wait more...we wait to travel. Once referrals are given, you usually travel in about 6-10 weeks it seems. Mind you, all these wait times are totally a guess based on what we're hearing others are doing and what our agency says is happening.
All that to say that our best guess is that we'll be going to Ethiopia to bring home our children sometime between June and November, but it could be longer. Talk about a lesson in patience! It's like being pregnant, but not knowing your due date. Think about that--you know you will have two children soon, but no real idea of when. It's strange. Many people talk about how emotional doing the paperwork is because they know it's preparing for a family. Quite honestly, I find it totally administrative and disconnected to our Adis Betasab (new family). When I think about those wonderful children coming home, or sitting in an orphanage right now, I get emotional and excited, but not filling out a form.
I guess I've mentioned two children, but not details. We have requested siblings--either twin infants (up to a year, we think) or one infant and one toddler (up to 3, we think). We're not sure about sexes yet. We've asked for healthy children--although some people do adopt HIV+ kids, we're not going to do so. There are millions of orphans in Africa, and they all need loving homes. We're excited to be growing our family and very excited about meeting our children. We continue to pray (and would love your prayers, too) for happy, healthy children and for their and our preparation to become a family.
By the way, in the midst of all of this we moved to North Carolina (into a temporary rental), we found a house (we close on 2/13), we went to MD for Christmas, Leah did four days with Habitat for Humanity with our old chuch in WI, we went to Costa Rica (everyone tells us to do what you can before kids--ok!), found a church, had to replace a car, are getting ready to move across town in a few weeks, and, oh, both of us are establishing ourselves in our new markets for our respective businesses! I say that more as an update on the rest of our life than anything else--we've actually felt very calm and peaceful since moving to NC, and for that we're thankful. We don't expect nearly as much activity for the remainder of the year as we're getting more settled here in NC. We know that our energy will soon be focused on raising two children!
Thanks for reading. If you got this far, you really like us, or you're really interested in adoption. If you want to read more, we suggest the book There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It is wonderful book that gives lots of information about adoption, Ethiopia, the AIDS crisis, etc.
First off, we chose a name for the site--Adis Betasab--which we THINK means "new family" in Amharic, the primary language of Ethiopia (Considering it was still available, it may mean something entirely different, but we're going with it). Why new family? Why Amharic? Well, in case you haven't heard, we're in the process of adopting from two children from Ethiopia, thus starting a new family! How exciting. We think so.
Where to begin--let's explain the process and what's required. A better question would be what's not required, really. We have spent the last two months filling out paperwork, meeting with social workers, getting our fingers printed (twice), becoming friends with the notary, asking others to write us letters, and hoping we clear Department of Homeland Security checks! As our international adoption agency clarified for us, there are basically three major parts of the adoption paperwork preparation: 1. A homestudy, 2. Immigration clearance, and 3. Dossier papers. If you're like us, that didn't help to clear it up at all! I'll explain (this may be really boring):
1. A homestudy is done by a State licensed social worker who approves you as a family capable of adopting. They require not only multiple interviews with a social worker, but also a home visit to make sure that we are not living in squalor (good thing we cleaned the house) and lots of paperwork. The paperwork is stuff like a medical clearance, financial information, criminal clearance, referral letters from friends, etc.
2. Immigration clearance is done by the Department of Homeland Security. You have to request an appointment, they give you a date, and you go all the way to Charlotte to get fingerprinted. Mind you, Norfolk is less than an hour away, but it's in Virginia, so we can't go. Instead we are required to go six hours west to Charlotte--aaah, the beauty of bureaucracy.
3. Dossier papers is what is required by the Ethiopian government to adopt. The homestudy and immigration clearance become a part of the dossier, but there are 18 (for real) other things they need, too. Their paperwork is also medical clearances, financial information, and referral letters but they all are different from the ones for the homestudy! It's nuts. Plus, they need letters from our employers, from us, photos, birth certificates, marriage licenses...the list goes on. And everything has to be notarized and then the notaries have to be authenticated.
Makes you want to adopt, huh?
So here's a bit more personalization of the process for us:
We wanted to start adopting back in August, but because we were moving to North Carolina, it really didn't make any sense: the homestudy is done by your state, so if we moved before the adoption was complete we'd have to start over. So we waited until we got to North Carolina. We did, however, do lots of research as to what agencies to use--oh, you need two--one to do the international part and one to do the homestudy.
In late November (we moved here the week of Thanksgiving), we requested a fingerprinting appointment. They give you a date, and you can only tell them it doesn't work once. If it doesn't work twice, you automatically get denied and have to start over. Needless to say, with our travel schedules, we wondered how it was going to all play out. We also started the homestudy process. We met with our social worker a few times--many people say it is really educational, but we didn't really feel that way. She was super nice and encouraging, but not super enlightening. Regardless, we since have been approved, so it's all good!
December and January were spent collecting all the papers. I won't (continue) to bore you with more details, but I'll sum it up by saying there is red tape on top of red tape on top of red tape. You have to find the right department to give you the exact paperwork, pay for it by money order, fill it out perfectly, then get it notarized. You get the point. Also, we didn't have established relationships here in NC yet, so, for example, not only did we need a doctor's clearance, we needed to find a doctor. We're now at the point where ALL of our papers are collected and notarized (amazing), so we have to get it all authenticated. Another layer of red tape. We often remind ourselves that all the steps are to protect children, which makes it more bearable.
In mid-January, we received a letter with our immigration finger printing appointment--January 31st, which happened to be, literally, the ONLY day in the next 7 weeks that neither of us had something on our calendar! Thank you, Lord. The trip was actually fun--we drove to Charlotte, spent about an hour getting fingerprinted, and drove home. On the way back, we realized the Tar Heels had a home basketball game, so we went. What a blast.
We came back from Charlotte to find exciting things in our mailbox--the homestudy (which had been sent weeks prior and was MIA), my certificate of birth abroad (which we had requested from the State Department and been waiting for since October), and the State Criminal clearance letters! That was everything! Well, except for the DHS (Dept. Homeland Security) clearance.
Yesterday, we scanned and emailed ALL of our paperwork to our agency. The guy there is awesome. We'll wait to make sure it's all ok, and then send it to him!
So what's next? We wait. Once we're officially done with all the paperwork, we get the whole dossier authenticated (I'm not sure what that means yet, either) and wait for the DHS clearance. Once that comes, which they said would be between late February and late March, our dossier (what's required of the Ethiopian government) is complete. It then gets submitted to Ethiopia, and we wait for a referral (a referral is what they call the part where you are matched with your kids). How long do you wait, you ask (everyone does)? We don't know. Probably between 2 and 6 months--average right now is about 4. Then we find out who our kids are (yippee!), and we wait more...we wait for a court date to make it official, and then once it's official, we wait more...we wait to travel. Once referrals are given, you usually travel in about 6-10 weeks it seems. Mind you, all these wait times are totally a guess based on what we're hearing others are doing and what our agency says is happening.
All that to say that our best guess is that we'll be going to Ethiopia to bring home our children sometime between June and November, but it could be longer. Talk about a lesson in patience! It's like being pregnant, but not knowing your due date. Think about that--you know you will have two children soon, but no real idea of when. It's strange. Many people talk about how emotional doing the paperwork is because they know it's preparing for a family. Quite honestly, I find it totally administrative and disconnected to our Adis Betasab (new family). When I think about those wonderful children coming home, or sitting in an orphanage right now, I get emotional and excited, but not filling out a form.
I guess I've mentioned two children, but not details. We have requested siblings--either twin infants (up to a year, we think) or one infant and one toddler (up to 3, we think). We're not sure about sexes yet. We've asked for healthy children--although some people do adopt HIV+ kids, we're not going to do so. There are millions of orphans in Africa, and they all need loving homes. We're excited to be growing our family and very excited about meeting our children. We continue to pray (and would love your prayers, too) for happy, healthy children and for their and our preparation to become a family.
By the way, in the midst of all of this we moved to North Carolina (into a temporary rental), we found a house (we close on 2/13), we went to MD for Christmas, Leah did four days with Habitat for Humanity with our old chuch in WI, we went to Costa Rica (everyone tells us to do what you can before kids--ok!), found a church, had to replace a car, are getting ready to move across town in a few weeks, and, oh, both of us are establishing ourselves in our new markets for our respective businesses! I say that more as an update on the rest of our life than anything else--we've actually felt very calm and peaceful since moving to NC, and for that we're thankful. We don't expect nearly as much activity for the remainder of the year as we're getting more settled here in NC. We know that our energy will soon be focused on raising two children!
Thanks for reading. If you got this far, you really like us, or you're really interested in adoption. If you want to read more, we suggest the book There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It is wonderful book that gives lots of information about adoption, Ethiopia, the AIDS crisis, etc.
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